A young lady in her 30’s was tired of hearing a reoccurring question from her friends and family. Whenever she attends a wedding, everyone would ask “when are we coming to eat your rice”. She daydreams about her fiancee proposing like couples do on YouTube – take her to a crowded place, go down on one knee and pop the question “will you marry me”. Oh, she can’t wait to say “yes”.
How do you envision your marriage mate? “Tall, handsome, educated and funny”, some ladies might say. While some guys say “curvy, dark-skinned, intelligent and homely”. These are all good choices but there are some important questions you should ask yourself before choosing a marriage partner.
Does he or she mock you in public?
Marriage is a lifelong business, so you wouldn’t want to get stuck with someone who doesn’t respect you. If your partner constantly or occasionally mocks you in front of friends, then that person has no regards for you. Sometimes the mockery might sound like a joke, but it’s not right to make silly jokes about someone you claim to love.
Is this person right for me?
If you go to a store to buy a shoe that caught your eye, but find out that the shoe doesn’t fit you. What would you do? Will you just buy it anyway? Or will you look for another pair? Will it do you any good to buy a shoe that doesn’t fit? The reasonable thing would be to buy another shoe that’s your size. Similarly, it would make no sense to settle for a person that doesn’t share your ideas or goals.
What is his or her personality like?
Ever had a crush on someone in secondary school? Might that person be the prettiest girl or tallest boy in school? Where are they now? Do you still have a crush on them? For me, the answer is no. Most of the guys I had a crush on aren’t attractive anymore. They are either wild, ill-mannered, out of my league or not my type. This shows that you need to be matured and decide what personality you want in a prospect mate. Don’t just settle for anyone because you are in a haste to have kids or be like your married friends. When your problems start, no one would help you.
What do people say about him or her?
In Africa, it is our tradition to find out about a prospective mate from his or her origin. Parents would designate people to find information about their child’s partner before marriage commences. Unfortunately, some couples have gotten into sour marriages, because they didn’t care about people’s opinion of their prospective mate. Listen and ask about your partner from well-meaning people.
Is he or she authoritative?
It is no news that many marriages have ended because the husband or wife complained that the other person is authoritative. When courting, it is wise to note if your boyfriend or girlfriend is controlling.
Is he or she industrious?
I know ladies love this question, but remember you should also be industrious. It’s not about marrying a wealthy individual but a hardworking one.
How does he or she treat family?
The way a person treats their family would give you an idea about their commitment to family life. If a person doesn’t communicate or care about their family, then there’s a possibility that you’ld experience the same. The way a person treats their own family is the way you will be treated.
Would he or she give up anything just for money?
If a person would give anything for money then, you might be up for bargain someday. An over ambitious person would do anything for money.
What does him or her love the most?
You can see the reflection of a person’s character by what they love. Whatever that person loves would come before you.
How quickly does he or she get angry?
Some marriages have ended disastrously because one or both parties turned out to be temperamental. These days the media swarms with stories of spouses that are murdered by their significant other. According to vocabulary.com, “anger is a powerful emotion that people feel from time to time when someone or something frustrates or annoys them. One of the roots of anger is the Greek word ankhone for “a strangling,” Which is a perfect description of the way anger actually feels.” You put your life at risk if you settle for a temperamental person.
Who are his or her friends?
The bond of friendship is so strong that some friends share . You should watch out for the kind of friends your partner keeps. If they are people with low morals, then there’s a possibility that your partner would reflect similar character.
Some other questions to ask before settling for a marriage mate are; does he or she ask about my welfare? Does he or she get jealous when I spend time or talk to other people? Do I see my kids being like him or her?
Marriage is not a bed of roses, which is why many couples fail at it. Today, people get divorced after a few weeks, months or years. You can avoid this pitfall by asking the right questions before embarking on this lifelong trip. When going on a trip, it is best a make a checklist and ensure that everything is complete or-else you would travel unprepared. Be prepared for marriage.
In the next article- We would share some outstanding fashion tips.