Sex in Hollywood is not usually what really happens in a committed, long-term relationship. In fact, most Hollywood romance stories only show the beginning of the relationship, when the sex is typically more exotic and passionate. Going into a sexual relationship with the belief that sex will be similar to the sexual relationships found in the movies can be both scary and disappointing. Because movies and other sexually inexperienced adolescents is where most of us begin forming the foundations of our beliefs about sexuality, many erroneous beliefs, then become the standard up to which we cannot begin to live. Here are the 7 biggest lies about sex Hollywood has passed on to us that started us down the road of the misinformed.
Unfortunately, Hollywood has only shown the cleaner side of sex. The kind of sex that can be had anywhere, anytime. There is never any hint that the man must stop in the moment passion to put on protection. Also, there is never any evidence in the movies that everyone involved may have to clean up after sex. Sure, some of this can be controlled for if a condom is used, but then the man at least would have to clean up. Finally, there is usually no mention that everyone involved gets pretty hot and sweaty.
In nearly every portrayal of sex in the movies, sex is an audio masterpiece; complete with dirty talk, moans, name calling, and sometimes even yelling. The reality is often far from this. In most instances, letting go, and losing control of yourself, as is portrayed in most Hollywood films, is embarrassing to people. They do not want to make spontaneous noises. In addition to this, many people are completely uncomfortable using profanity or vulgar words during sex. In fact, this “dirty talk” can often be a turn-off for those same people.
Sex All of the Time
Very rarely do you see a couple in the movies that is not dying to jump into the bed with each other. Usually, there is so much sexual tension built up in the movie, the audience finds themselves relieved when the couple finally gets their opportunity. An unknowing sexually inexperienced person would have to assume after watching these films, that surly every one wants to have sex all of the time. This is especially the case if the said person has had some personal sexual experience with self stimulation. It feels good, so why wouldn’t they want to do it all of the time? The reality is that in America, the average couple has sex 1-2 times a week. The media’s portrayal of the sexual relationship indicates that there are just two bodies that want only to fulfill their carnal appetites, giving no space for the need for possible emotional intimacy before physical intimacy.
Oral Sex is a Guaranteed Hit
Only about a third of women enjoy oral sex. 30 percent of women even find it disgusting. The same statistics apply to men. Just because every movie portrays oral sex as the undeniable gift, doesn’t make it so.
Nothing could be further from the truth, especially for women. First off, most positions don’t give the proper stimulation to the woman’s clitoris. This means that most positions will never bring a woman to orgasm. It is similar to saying that maybe if we just stimulate the man’s elbow, he will be brought to orgasm. In fact, it has been said that inserting the penis into the vagina is like inserting a hot dog into the scrotum of a man. This insertion alone does little to stimulate. No matter from what angle or position you thrust the hotdog, the results will still most likely be no orgasm. It is only when you can stimulate the penis, or in a woman’s case, the clitoris, will orgasm result.
Exotic is Erotic
Hollywood sex often happens in the bathroom, in the back of a car, or on the kitchen table. Again, this may seem exciting on the screen, but rarely does this happen in real life. First, body image plays a big role in where sex can be acceptable to both partners. Someone who feels they are not attractive, will most likely want to have sex in a dark, very secluded place. Second, rarely does the kind of emotional intimacy that is inviting for sex occur in a public setting. In order for a couple to have sex, they usually have to feel emotionally safe. This means they usually want to be in a familiar, emotionally safe environment. Having sex on the kitchen table, while some stranger can look in your window and see everything is not exactly emotionally safe.
Last All Night, And Women Always Have Multiple Orgasms
The sad reality is that sex doesn’t work for everyone. Nearly 30 percent of women cannot even have an orgasm during sexual intercourse, let alone have multiple orgasms. The facts are that a man on average can thrust for about 3 minutes before he climaxes.
Unfortunately, women take about 9 minutes to climax with that same thrusting. In addition to this, even if the man could last all night long, many women would still not be able to climax due to various emotional, mental, or physical complications. Again, this means that many women never experience orgasm during sexual intercourse. This doesn’t mean that orgasm can not be had by other means of stimulation, though. So, do not give up. Exploration and open communication are part of the process for establishing both physical and emotional intimate relationships.
In the next article: Is your cellphone causing problems in the male department? Find out next week Tuesday.
Image Source: www.hollywood.com